Black women tend to be thought of as angry, hard, feisty, no-nonsense, loud, independent (to a fault), etc. But they are also thought known to be lovers, mothers, supporters of communities and families, soft, warm, plate fixers, boo-boo-kissers, voluptuous, colorful and phenomenal. Something that came to me as I was thinking about this topic was why do we treat people at work sometimes better than we treat our own spouse or significant other at home? We are quick to give him the wrath and sharpness of our tongue, but don’t do that to the boss/co-working that’s “getting’ on our nerves at work”. We are quick to suck our teeth at his “idiot”syncrasies, but we try to “work with” folx at work that have “issues”. My point is, the hard part of us is borne of messages taught to us by our mothers, girlfriends and life in general. We don’t want to be made a fool of or thought to be a fool, so we maintain the hardness that has gotten us through life, even when it’s not necessary. That’s the diamond side. But then our men need the softness of us. It was the feistiness sometimes that has drawn them too us….but just like any “good” thing. It’s always better in moderation. I mean if someone was feisty, angry and no-nonsense all the time, wouldn’t it start to grate on your nerves.
So what I want to talk about today is how can we be that woman where ya man knows you got his back, but you’re not ridin’ his back? Or at least when you are ON his back, you have your velvet covering on and it’s nice and soft maybe with a massage thrown in.
Ladies…Ladies…Ladies. We have to love our spouses and significant others (SOs) as much as they deserve. Now I do not advise that we love more that we are able and definitely not to our own detriment. But if we continue to convince our SOs that we don’t “need” them cuz we are independent ladies who “don’t need no man”, why should they stay in an abrasive, loud and no-nonsense environment? In order for diamonds to be protected, they are usually carried in a simple BLACK velvet bag. They are precious. But yet a simple velvet bag is enough to see them through. You are precious and a little velvet covering is enough to see you through. So I suggest, it only takes a little velvet covering to keep you brilliant, shining and stunning. It only takes a little softness to allow your SO to have a soft place to rest his head; a soft place to lay his mind and troubles and the deep dark blackness of your velvet to lose himself in. Your velvet becomes the “bag” in which he can place his dreams, his hopes and his fears. It’s your velvet in which he wants to put future memories that you will make together.
So I implore you (and I know it won’t happen overnight), but give him access to the softness of your velvet bag and not just the hardness of your diamonds.