Dating and Dieting: “Can I get a side of Dick Gregory instead of fries?”

In the middle of my journey to lose these last 20 lbs, I’ve come upon a dilemma…dating. The problem is not so much dating as it is keeping control when there is change.

Losing weight means a lot of planning for me make any significant gains in my weight loss. I plan my meals every day, counting every calorie, documenting every work out. Being a baker, I’m around rich and fattening foods daily. Walking into the kitchen is akin to walking into a land mine field. And I’m an emotional eater, so if its a bad day, some disruption or change, you will find me in the walk-in with my head in the Valrhona chocolate bag. It is important that I stay centered, I pray and I stick to the plan and life is quiet. I am in a safe bubble of controlled calories and “serenity now” chants. But throw a cute boy in there and a night out on the town and that bubble pops.

Last weekend, I got a surprise date for dinner and a movie. The Hulk was out that weekend. I had to say yes. But then I had already eaten my calorie requirements for the day. How could I go out to eat? What would I order? I have very little self-control and put a menu of salty, gooey, fattening food in front me and I go bonkers! I thought maybe we could skip dinner or I would just order a salad. Who was I kidding? I could feel my belly getting ready for quesadillas and spinach/artichoke dip.

I arrive to the date and we sit down for dinner. The waitress gives us the menus and I’m hoping the selections will be all Lean Cuisine, 200 calories or less entrees. Or maybe I could get a Slim Fast shake? Or maybe that got some of that Dick Gregory Bahamian Diet in the back? Hell-to-the-naw. I was so conflicted and confused with my choices, I ended up ordering a side of fries, a side of onion rings and one big gigantic cookie. I am a 12 year old. My adult date ordered salmon and veggies. I stared at my three plates of grease, carbohydrates and sugar flabbergasted.

I was so overcome with making a decision, I made the wrong decision. I had not made a plan on what to do in this kind of situation. Having always detailed my meals, workouts and even dates days ahead, made it hard for me to be flexible and nimble enough to think on the fly when I was faced with a new event. I learned that I have to be able to eat out and choose wisely. And even if I do eat out, that it is not the end of world and I have not ruined all of my previous efforts.

Dietitians and nutritionist encourage us to rotate and change up our meals and workout routines, but we also need the tools to make good choices when we are faced with a menu of bad ones. How do we socialize with food and respond to change? This issue for me wasnt just that I was at a restaurant, but that I had changed my day to incorporate a new person in a new environment and it stressed me out. And instead of calming down to make a good decision, I panicked and went to my comfort zone—food—in the form of fries, onion rings and a giant chocolate chip cookie.

My date laughed at me as I picked over my fries, played with my onion rings and devoured my chocolate chip cookie. He then took my hand and we walked to the theater to see the Hulk. I am a 12 year old.

This weekend its another date at a sushi bar. Unagi Nigiri here I come!

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0 Comments

  • felicia

    Reply Reply June 18, 2008

    what a true commentary. dieting and dating rarely mix well. you just have to be strong and stick with it. don’t get off track just because of a date! be strong girl.

  • A. Fox

    Reply Reply June 19, 2008

    I feel ya girl! It’s tough. I’ve been trying to “diet” to make it to MIA this weekend…but the minute I say diet, I want all kinds of crap. I work in a chocolate factory so I’m surrounded by candy all day and usually don’t want anything to do with it. (not really a sweets person)….but say the word diet…and I can’t put it down. I’m doing really good though…I lost 7….I mean 0-POINT-7 pounds.
    Oh well……sigh

    at least you recognize you’re a stress eater…so why not just tell suprise date that it’d be much better for you to go tomorrow when you can plan??? take control girl and stay strong!

  • Sister Kia

    Reply Reply June 19, 2008

    Go… enjoy yourself… and have what he’s having.. Salmon and veggies.. eat… salmon and veggies are healthy… forgive yourself… tell your date you enjoyed your time… you enjoyed the meal … and enjoyed the movie and it would be nice to do it again… add that since you have placed yourself on a restrictive diet, in an effort to maintain your health discipline, would he mind giving you more of a heads up so that you have time to plan…

    the next day…

    forgive yourself again.. and continue your path…

    ~Peace~
    Sis. Kia

  • Chanelle

    Reply Reply June 19, 2008

    I sounds like you are doing great. Eating right is a lifestyle and learning when to just let go a little is a part of life.

  • M. Monique Shaw

    Reply Reply July 18, 2008

    Girl, diets are so 20th Century! Lifestyle change, good habit development, with a half teaspoon of intervention, and whole teaspoon of discipline, with an eighth of a teaspoon(that’s a sprinkle)of “temperance”(I’m a Baker and a very experienced self made Chef…so I know how it is!), makes for a great slice of a healthy (first) and sexy body (second)! And may I suggest this to you…indulge, with your permission, of course, one day out of the week. If need be, make it your date night. David Zinzenko, author of the Abs Diet, recommends this. I agree with him. I always look forward to dinner on Saturday’s with my sweetheart…because I know he won’t be the only sweet I indulge in!

    Be Captured…Monique

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